Before the Camino: It amuses me to think back to my original motivations for the Camino. They were innocent, and they were good and lighthearted. I was going to have an adventure with a friend whose company I have always enjoyed greatly. The very fact that I took that first trip as part of my vacation time, and not as the retreat time to which I was entitled, goes a long way in describing some of my fundamental motives. To be fair, I was quite open for something spiritual to happen, and intended to allow moments for that, but the delicious Portuguese caldo verde and the refreshing vinho verde – green soup and green wine – were as much a part of my calculations as anything else. In moderation, there is no harm in such things, and much nourishment of body and spirit…but they are peripheral gifts of the Camino, not its heart. But I would only come to know that in the midst of the pilgrimage.
The experience changed my expectations, and I believe, honestly, even me. I was left deeply hungry for more.
Mark 10:35-40 – “Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to him and said to him, “Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.” 36 He replied, “What do you wish [me] to do for you?” 37 They answered him, “Grant that in your glory we may sit one at your right and the other at your left.” 38 Jesus said to them, “You do not know what you are asking. Can you drink the cup that I drink or be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized?” 39 They said to him, “We can.” Jesus said to them, “The cup that I drink, you will drink, and with the baptism with which I am baptized, you will be baptized; 40 but to sit at my right or at my left is not mine to give but is for those for whom it has been prepared.”
For reflection: There is evidence in the New Testament that some of Jesus’ followers, at least at the start, followed Jesus for the wrong reason, hoping that he would drive out the Romans and restore Judah politically as an independent, perhaps even dominant power in the human realm. Even as late as the post resurrection appearance just before the ascension, the disciples ask, “Lord, are you going to restore the kingdom to Israel now?” James and John indicate, in the passage above, that they thought Jesus was going to establish himself in power, and they wanted in on the action. Something changed, eventually, for all these disciples. James would be the first of the apostles to die for that much more hidden Kingdom of God (Acts 12:2). Somewhere between his request for glory at Jesus’ side, and the moment he laid down his life, James had shifted from being a political opportunist to a self-giving disciple. It was a radical transformation.
Might something like that happen for us? The Camino provides many things, but among its greatest gifts, is the opportunity for inner change.
Tourists set out, wherever they are going, in search of a variety of things. They may be seeking the thrill of discovery in new places or foods, of companionship and social engagements with friends, family or even strangers. It might be the pull of adventure amidst the exotic, the comfort of a warm sun on a sandy beach, the beauty of nature, the opportunity for some rest, a temporary escape from responsibility, a rich encounter with raw nature, human cultures or history. Some seek to achieve environmental recovery or economic assistance in more socially oriented vacation opportunities. There are those open-ended souls who set out without expectation, open to whatever enjoyment or meaning arises from the moment.
These rewards are valuable ends to a vacation, all of them. However, in a technical sense, they aren’t the key to a pilgrimage. They may well play a subsidiary, partial role in motivating a pilgrim, or be coincidental rewards in the midst of pilgrimage, but they are not the primary goal. What sets the pilgrim apart from the tourist, is the pilgrim’s deliberate pursuit of interior transformation.
In the medieval world, the pilgrim given a penance of pilgrimage sought transformation from ostracism to inclusion. The spiritual pilgrim seeks enlightenment, or perhaps the experience of the divine. The grieving pilgrim seeks comfort and resolution. The transitional pilgrim seeks, perhaps, a new path, to mark retirement, a key change of employment, or to acknowledge changes going on within the self, and to mark a new beginning. The pilgrim with addictions seeks sobriety. The pilgrim with a petition seeks an answer.
Transformation invites the old into the new. We are the same person, and yet somehow, not. Is there room in your heart of hearts for toppling old habits, trying new ones, seeking out the paths of the Lord, in order to walk in them to new ways of being you? Your motives may be mixed at the start. Can you patiently wait for the slow work of God, opening you to a process of purification in the corners of your life you least expect? Just as Jesus worked amazing changes in the lives of James and John, are you open to him taking you in unexpected directions?
