From the Camino: I began each walking day early, eager to be on the road. I would wake up at 6, make my ablutions, eat whatever had been set aside for breakfast, pack up, and set out. Because I am often unobservant and absent minded, I have a long history of leaving possessions behind, and forgetting to take my morning meds. So I created a morning routine on the list app on my phone, that I followed carefully every morning. Weeks into the trip, that list was still reminding me to pack up shaving gear and to check under my bed. That worked for me.
At first there was abundant morning light. As the days and weeks passed, and I headed into Autumn, the days shortened. Soon I was leaving when there wasn’t a glimmer from the sun. Each day was a journey into the unknown. Still, it was a pleasure to walk by light of moon and stars. Then it was a special pleasure to stop and face the East, catching the precious sunrise. I had almost never done that before.
This was all fine, so long as there was moonlight, or illumination from the towns’ street lights to guide me on my first steps. It was something altogether different though, the first time I had to walk in the pitch black darkness of an extensive tree farm. The branches completely blocked the moonlight, and the roots reached up out of the ground, invisible in the darkness. I couldn’t see either the path or the trees in the night.
I could have put on my headlamp, if I thought for a moment that I would find it in the darkness. As I hadn’t used it, it had fallen to the deep recesses of my pack. Instead, I simply moved forward, with my arms and hands in front of me, carefully setting each step, so as not to trip or end up in a gully. Luckily, the path didn’t veer too much to the left or right (I think). The time in the forest certainly felt longer than it probably was. It might have been the only truly frightening time of my trip.
I made two decisions. One was to leave a little later, so that I didn’t spend too much time wandering in the dark. I also found my headlamp, and even if I didn’t often turn it on, I had it handy till the light of the new born sun first brightened the horizon.
Matt 21:28-32 – 28 [Jesus said] ‘What is your opinion? A man had two sons. He came to the first and said, ‘Son, go out and work in the vineyard today.’ 29 He said in reply, ‘I will not,’ but afterwards he changed his mind and went. 30 The man came to the other son and gave the same order. He said in reply, ‘Yes, sir,’ but did not go. 31 Which of the two did his father’s will?” They answered, “The first.” Jesus said to them, “Amen, I say to you, tax collectors and prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God before you. 32 When John came to you in the way of righteousness, you did not believe him; but tax collectors and prostitutes did. Yet even when you saw that, you did not later change your minds and believe him.
For reflection: We don’t know if the second son spoke dishonestly when he agreed to his father’s request to work the land, or if he, in fact, had a genuine willingness to go, before he was distracted or otherwise prevented. The story doesn’t say.
The first son, on the other hand, at least had the integrity to speak his mind, that he did not intend to go, when first asked to work in the fields. Laboring in the fields, without any machinery, must have been wearying. We can speculate if that was why he told his father “No,” at least at first. We can only guess why he changed his mind, as the passage doesn’t tell us. The acknowledgment from Jesus’ audience, that the first son fulfilled his father’s will, is all we have. And that was enough. This son followed something other than his first impulse, and did well.
On the Camino we are given the opportunity to break completely out of the ordinary, our ruts and routines, our normal. We can also quickly create new habits that may, or may not, benefit us. Stumbling for long periods of time in the dark…had no merit other than an early arrival. I missed the countryside I was walking through and put my well-being at risk. Something had to change, though my first inclinations about starting early worked “well enough” for me for the first weeks.
So, you find a pattern that works for you…at least for a while. And then it doesn’t work. Do you cling to the old way, just because it used to work, because it’s supposed to work? Just as we can form ruts that we need to break out of back home, we can form new ones on the Camino.
Be free. The first son in the Scripture changed his mind, and did the right thing. Be quick to change your mind if you can achieve some good. Consider trying twenty new ways of doing things. Try something new every day. The Camino gives you freedom, if you’ll use it.
