From the Camino: My own walking habits on pilgrimage get in the way of my becoming part of a Camino family.
I’m not an introvert, but I have such a public life as a priest, I can feel overexposed. Albergues seemed like more of the same to me, so I chose to arrange very simple private accommodations. I missed the communal meals where friendships get formed, and that has been a loss. On top of that, I took a day off from walking each week or so, to let the body rest a bit before carrying on. This has meant that others, with whom I’ve shared the way for a week, have carried on without me on my seventh day.
I was blessed, though, while on the Primitivo, that I kept on running into a couple from California and three friends walking together from the Pacific Northwest. I’d stop for a cafecito and they’d be there ahead of me. I’d make my way to a glass of wine and some tapas in the evening, and they would stumble into the same bar. Apparently they also took a day off in the middle of their walking, so we ended up together all the way into Santiago.
Companionship with them was easy and pleasant. No one took offense if someone wanted to walk a little slower or faster than the rest. It was always a pleasure to run into each other however it happened.
Perhaps the loveliest moments, though, were when we began to make plans about being together in Santiago, at the pilgrim’s Mass, walking through the pilgrim museum, and having a couple of celebratory dinners together. Any shared joy was a deeper one.
From the life of St. James, Mark 3:13-19 – 13 He went up the mountain and summoned those whom he wanted and they came to him. 14 He appointed twelve [whom he also named apostles] that they might be with him and he might send them forth to preach 15 and to have authority to drive out demons: 16 [he appointed the twelve:] Simon, whom he named Peter; 17 James, son of Zebedee, and John the brother of James, whom he named Boanerges, that is, sons of thunder; 18 Andrew, Philip, Bartholomew, Matthew, Thomas, James the son of Alphaeus; Thaddeus, Simon the Cananean, 19 and Judas Iscariot who betrayed him.
For reflection: James, our Camino saint, was not a solitary figure. He belonged to a group of people, all sharing a passion for Jesus and his teachings. It was not exclusively a fraternity, for as Luke 8:1-3 clarifies for us, Jesus’ band was made up of the twelve apostles and women of substance who supported Jesus, including Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Susanna and, it says, many others. An often overlooked element of the Gospel portrayal of Jesus and his disciples is that the whole of their time together was a journey from place to place, in companionship with one another.
While communal living, showering, eating, sleeping (and snoring!) can be challenging, many find this very communal aspect of the Camino, sharing the simple joys of walking, conversing, a bit to eat and some rest together, one of the most enriching elements. It speaks to some deep part of us, recalling, those long hunter-gatherer millennia of wandering in small groups, before we ever thought to turn to agriculture.
It is worth considering if you are called to such a companionship. In fact, there are some kinds of growth that can only happen in close communion with others. Sometimes all we need is to talk through things. The conversation, itself, helps us order the confusion in our minds and hearts. This pilgrimage gives us the space to do that.
It also can be true that, while probing the most troubling events of our life, we can see them as poorly as readers holding a book only an inch from their noses, where everything is blurred. The emotions that accompany our most significant life moments can overwhelm our more centered perceptions, clouding our judgment, preventing us from achieving the resolutions we need to move on. The distance a companion has, when hearing of these deeply troubling episodes can grant them, if they are wise, an unemotional and still compassionate clarity we cannot achieve. If, in fact, they are experienced and sensible, and we humbly listen to their reflections, we can make amazing personal progress.
Listening to their stories, in turn, also enriches and expands our awareness of all that life can set before us. The give and take, the sharing of the profound, as well as the funny, the snoring and everything else quotidian, all create surprisingly strong bonds in even short times.
Camino families form naturally or awkwardly, sometime intentionally, often not. There is a certain kismet to them, the momentary grace of timing, or perhaps better, timing of grace. Some seek them out from the start. There might be a greater grace in allowing things to happen, as they will, remaining open to what the passing days offer.
There is also the need for contemplation and silence. Participation in a Camino family does not preclude them. Both community and solitude are possible. We can convey to our companions our desire for a day or two of silence, and the desire to meet up with them at some chosen destination down the path. The wide extent of the Camino makes this possible.
In everything, recognize Jesus in your companions, and be Jesus for them.
